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the cats behind the works

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aka a chance to show off my gremlins and house 

aka this is my website and i'll do what i want to !

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TIMOTHY

i knew timothy's grandma, and his mom, and finally, him. he came from a long line of housecats that got free, got together, and got babies. tim came to me through a series of events in my brother's life that left his kitten, matco, needing a home (and a new name). 

so i got a timothy. he was moody and beautiful and grew up on a cow pasture with a cat brother. they'd sleep curled up around cow patties and chase birds and run across the roof at 6am.

then we moved to tallahassee and tim became one of my roommates. we kept each other warm in an 18 degree winter in a house that only had squirrels as insulation. then we moved into a tiny house with more windows and birds for him to look at, and a faulty back door that he loved to escape through. 

 

tim left us on april 7, 2022. we miss him.

his likes:

 to go into empty rooms and sing a song

to stare at ghosts

to be grumpy

to be petted on JUST HIS HEAD

to sleep in cinnamon roll form 

to be snuggly in the bed ONLY

his dislikes:

having to take antacid every day

not being allowed outside

not getting to fight the porch cats

being touched anywhere but his head

funfact:

tim's noble and impressive whiskers were the inspiration for the cathead mascot's spiral whiskers

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SEA HAG

shortly after timothy came to live with me, a friend asked if i needed a kitten, and i replied, "no thank you, i don't need a kitten. i have three cats so i'm all good on cats right now." later that week my partner at the time excitedly told me about the kitten another friend had that needed a home. we arrived to pick up the kitten and it was the house of the first friend who offered me a kitten. we met a scrawny, sneezy little dumpster cat that was apparently destined to become my favorite greasy gremlin in the world. 

sea hag grew up licking bowls clean and stealing cooking meat off the stove. she escaped once, when she was a year old, for about three days. ever since she's become afraid of outsideland. she has a habit of screaming when she's doing something bad (like stealing food or escaping), and that gets her caught every time so i think she's really just looking for conversation. 

she's named sea hag after a song by burning witch (an actual faq!)

i thought about changing her name to petunia, but sea hag fit better. 

she is truly the best worst cat in the world. she screams. she destroys things.

she decides when it's time for affection (and i am not allowed to do anything else).

she has a little chair so that she can watch cattv and scream at the porch cats. 

she proves time and time again there is no such thing as a free kitten. 

but

she is the funniest person i have ever met

and

she's haunted

fun fact:

sea hag's bug eyes are why the cathead's eyes are slightly intentionally always not quite right. 

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professional photos by my cousin, Amanda

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if you ever feel like feeding these demons for a day, it costs about $8 and my venmo is @liltreyze

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed this gratuitous  immortalization of my beautiful monsters

CRYPTID

my neighbor and i have taken to caring for the cats that live under our houses - we get them altered, ear tipped, and keep them fed - and in summer 2020, a new little kitten showed up in my garden. he looked identical to a kitten we took care of the year before who didn't survive feral life, so i was instantly attached to this little guy. he loved hiding in my plants and playing in the dirt, so i named him cryptid. 

his outside pappy, Old Man Flappy/Smush, taught him how to be a cool little guy and we became friends. as the weather grew colder, i worried for his safety, so i let him sleep on the back porch a few nights. then i let him come in to play a few times....and then he never left. black cats have extra odds against them when they live outside, and this sweet little weirdo deserved to live a good life. 

cut to a year and a half later, and this guy is all charisma, some dexterity. he has brought new energy into this house of old cats and keeps them active and healthy (and annoyed).

he loves to play fetch.

his full name is cryptid bryan fletcher. aka beeps. or bb. or beepbeep.

he has a special way he likes to be held, and he's terrified of shoes. 

he doesn't meow, he only shrieks at the outside cats.

he will trample you for oatmilk, coconut anything, and oatmeal. 

i did not intend to have more cats after the two i already care for, but i'm so glad this guy made his way into our home. 

fun fact: 

cryptid's tipped ear (i guess he's a feral fail?) is now a feature of the cathead stamp - it's not an accident that there's only one whole ear on your patch!

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